When we speak or post about you and whiteness in any venue, especially social media, it really isn't intended for you to share or express your opinion about the subject matter. Seemingly, you appear to have this need, a need to have a say, to give permission in order for our Black words and thoughts to have weight. The FACT is that your opinion is not the one that matters, we say what we say without need of your acceptance or approval. Our posts, blogs and other expressions regarding our experiences with you (even this one) are not an invitation for you to opine a counter argument. What y'all like to do is spew vitriol, show your fragility and tell us how we should view our experiences. You don't get to tell us how we process the experiences of our blackness and you can keep that white gaze bullshit to yourself. We did not give you permission to defend yourselves to us. We really don't want to hear it, you don't get come talking that "not all white people" bullshit while trying to claim acceptance of our experience with your racist ass counterparts.
"I accept your views and all. But there is a way to deliver it. Quite frankly, truth also hurts that black people kill each other all the time and never flinch. But when white people do it, we're all supposed to feel guilty? It doesn't work like that." - Random Becky
A lot of you whites think that you "accept" our thoughts that we share, but you really don't! You spew micro-aggressions by pointing out shit like the Black on Black crime myth while still feeling like YOU somehow have a right to our bodies and minds, to give us permission. You like to think that you are more intelligent than us, but your mediocrity always shines through when you use terms and phrases coined from your white gaze. Take the example of Black on Black crime that y'all like to lean on so much, it is actually called intra - racial crime and pretty much occurs at the same rate across racial groups. But I digress, for too long we've had to go along with what white folks have told us about who we were, are, and should be. Because of this need to tell us who we should be (you know, for your comfort) tone policing and gas lighting have become tools to protect your white privilege.
- Gas-lighting -
To manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity.
- Tone Policing -
When arguments produced in an angry tone are dismissed irrespective of the legitimacy of the argument.
Tell me the last time you went into white only spaces an attempted to correct your cohorts like you attempt to do in black spaces. You don't get to tell us how we should speak about an issue, you don't get to tone police us. You don't get to gaslight us. NO, You don't get a say on how we say or do anything. You are being told NO, and you probably should have gotten used to it years ago. Unfortunately your whiteness is set up in a way that being told no is not a viable option for you. Permission was never granted for you to walk into our personal places, spaces, and bubbles to reach out touch us in ways that violate us. Yet, in your whiteness you will claim that you acted out of "curiosity" and will act as if said curiosity is what gave you permission. This claim of curiosity will get you into a world of trouble, as you should be warned that we ain't and won't be peaceful when you violate us. White allies are guilty of this, especially when it comes to spaces and tone policing. Even the BEST White allies/accomplices tend to overstep with their solidarity. White folks get over zealous in their support and when this happens they start speaking when we should speak for ourselves.
"What I do know is white people will protect themselves before saving or protecting Black lives. yes, even the anti racist white people." - Patrisse Khan-Cullors
Stop trying to lead in this movement in a way that centers you, the movements of the marginalized are not your movements, you play a support role. The Black Lives Matter movement is not yours. You don't deserve the attention, the Black people you support deserve that. Do not speak for us when we can speak for ourselves, we don't need a translator so that your white cohorts can understand. Stop saying "us" and "we," when you post and speak about issues that directly affects/effects the Black community. You don't know what it is to be part of the Black diaspora. You are needed in the spaces where you don't normally see Black folks or even in spaces where we are not welcome, that is when you you speak up. Then after you speak up, bring a Black person into the space so we can speak for ourselves. I could say more, but I have given this too much attention...
Ashton P. Woods